Heartbreak: The Toughest Lesson To Learn
We have all been there, on the receiving end of it, as well as the one who did it. Heartbreak. It comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes your heart gets broken, sometimes it is you that does the breaking. There has been written a lot on heartbreaks. Your friends will probably all give you tips and advice on how to deal with it. What to do, what to say, how to feel, when to get over him/her. Everyone has advice on it. It’s one life lesson we all go through and yet, we are not always successful in it.
I learned that breaking up doesn’t have to be easier than getting dumped. There is no time limit on when to feel good again and when to stop crying about it. Even years after the breakup it is okay to get sad, to cry or get overwhelmed by what you still feel.
The hardest lesson you have to learn in life is that some people are not meant to stay in your life. You were meant to meet them, you were meant to have those memories, you were meant to break up. Because of that, you were meant to learn the lessons and grow from them. And as long as you haven’t learned your lesson, they will keep coming back. Despite red flags and how many times they hurt you, you keep letting them.
I do this, constantly. I doubt my self-worth and my ability to do things. There are even parts I hate about myself. No matter how bad they might treat me, as long as it is better than I treat myself, I will continue to accept it. I keep attracting emotionally unavailable people because there is a part of me that is also emotionally unavailable. Think about that. If you find yourself in a situation like this, where you attract emotionally unavailable people, it is probably because you are too. I say I want a relationship but on a deeper level, I fear completely losing myself as I did before. I fear getting myself hurt and because of that, I go for people who aren’t as invested. Because when they leave it won’t hurt so much.
And when they leave, be aware there is no time limit on when to stop feeling hurt. Or to miss someone. It is okay to miss someone that was once an important part of your life. It just doesn’t mean you need to act on it and reach out to see how they are doing. Remember why they’re not in your life anymore.
Be realistic. There is no way that your heart won’t be broken again. We cannot control that because we cannot control the behavior of others. Trust that you can handle it when they do. Take your time, this pain will find a place where it stops letting you tear up, stops holding you back from opening up and gives you the strength to see the good in yourself. The one person that will be in your life for the rest of your life, is you. You better make sure you love you.
